When we argue with ourselves, there is a “should” involved, which leads to increased stimulation for the addict brain. When we really dig deeper to find the meaning underneath the surface “shoulds,” we find that special button that gets
pushed so easily and leads to anger, resentment, and overall disconnection. That button is whatever message you have taken in about yourself that is not rational but was ingrained at a young age when you weren’t even aware of it. That button is the one that says “I’m a failure,” “I’m not important,” “I’m worthless,” or “I’m stupid.” You argue with yourself because you know, cognitively, that it’s not true, but deep inside your limbic system, you fear that it is.
There are various ways to heal from the traumas that caused you to create that button and there are many interventions to change your responses to events that push the button, but meanwhile, how do you not engage in the mental conflict that is so stimulating to your addict brain?
You say “So what?” So what if I’m worthless, so what if I’m not important, so what if I’m a failure, so what if I’m stupid?
So what? Float above it like you float above the rip tide.
Dare to be stupid
(Weird Al Yankovic,)