When I was in my Master’s program, the general rule, right after “Don’t have sex with clients” seemed to be “Don’t talk about religion.”
Not talking about religion and politics seems to be standard in any context if you don’t want to provoke a fight or bring up strong emotional reactions in many settings, not just the counseling office. But is it really necessary to avoid all spiritual references? Political, maybe, but that’s for another discussion.
There are many people who, when asked, will say they are “spiritual” rather than “religious.” Many people are resisting the structure of organized religions, with the entrenched beliefs and practices that often exclude people from various gender identities, sexual orientations, and those with non-traditional beliefs. “Spiritual” encompasses a multitude of ways to conceptualize God without the encumbrance of adherence to any one faith. Some people even avoid use of the word “God” since it has an association with organized religions. The 12-Step meetings use “higher power” for that reason, since addicts seeking recovery often avoid the meetings because of a preconceived idea that they are Christian in nature.
All of this comes into play when we consider talking to our clients about religion, spirituality, and a relationship with God, higher power, or any other word used to name that universal force that connects us all (see
Addict America: The Lost Connection for more exploration). Yet I believe we need to have these conversations. Whatever a person’s feelings or thoughts, it is helpful for them to be expressed. A connection with a higher power, or God, or the Force, or whatever else you choose to call the energy that encompasses us all and is greater than any one individual is part of our conceptualization of ourselves and our place in the world. It is our job as therapists to provide a safe place for these conversations and explorations without bringing any bias or other counter-transference into the room.
Ultimately, our relationship with God can guide us and give meaning to our lives. It can give us the hope and support we need when we feel stressed, overwhelmed, confused, or bereaved. When we can say “I am not the greatest power in the universe,” then that implies a greater power and when we can turn to that power, we can be sustained when we need it. As they say in the 12-Step rooms – Let go and let God.
For myself, when I am sitting with a client and feeling at a complete loss to help that person, when I have no idea what to say or do, or when I see the train wreck coming and am helpless to stop it, that is when I “give it to God.” I close my eyes for a moment and say “God, take this.”
When I am in personal fear – of getting old and infirm, of loss of people I love, of disaster hitting, I “give it to God.”
We do not, nor can we possibly, be in control of everything all the time. As the Serenity Prayer says: God, give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Giving it to God is how I control what I can, which is my own sense of serenity.
Be In Light,
Carol
